Nailed For The Princess He Deeply Loves.

Just wanted to post this before I really go to bed. I said I’d go to bed 30 minutes ago but my mind kept on drifting away and away and away. So I went to google some pictures of The Passion of The Christ and I found one that just made me cry.

See that hand? Nailed for you and me. It overwhelms me to know that I’m still loved, right here and right now, where I am in this darkly lit room on a cold, rainy night.

Thank You, Jesus.

こんいちわ！おげんきですか？わくわくするわ！

I am working for the APEC 2009 at tomorrow evening’s Gala Dinner at the Esplanade! It’s been a busy week for me but tomorrow it’s going to rise to a huge climax and then end off with a big bang with the CG on Sunday! I’m so having an expectant feel of good to come, amen! I’ve gotta keep this vibe going or I don’t know how else I’m going to face the coming days.

Today, I made some new acquaintances at work, one of whom was a big time Chelsea fan. Apparently I’m the first female Blues fan he’s met so it took him a while to digest that. But anyway, this is beside the point.

My week has had crazy ups and downs; I’m feeling the pangs and a little stress with things that begin to pile up at school and everywhere else. Exams are in 2 weeks. I know that my serving portion for the DARE camps are coming in too, so it’s a totally new thing for me once again. I’ve never felt this way, I can’t quite explain it. I don’t want to be vulnerable here.

I’m just… Somewhere in the middle. Somewhere between my heart and my hands. Somewhere between my faith and my plans. Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves. Somewhere, in the middle.

Will we trade our dreams for His, or are we caught in the middle? Are we caught in the middle?

Just how close can I get, Lord. To my surrender without losing all control? But still I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side, loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle.

Today is World Kindness Day. I’m showing some love to an awesome person in my life: “Through the good and bad and happy and the sad, you won’t be away from home.“

I hope this cheers you up. Miss you!

The other day last week, J found the guy I was telling him about who did a duet with David Choi on Youtube and then there’s this song this guy had written and composed. His name is Chester See. He came across to me as a himbo initially, but I’m now officially a fan.

Here’s this original track he has written, composed, and sung on his beautiful white piano, “You Will Be Loved”. I love that it’s so raw and real. It’s an amazingly simple yet ground-breaking song.

As long as I’m around, you will be loved.

I promise. Enjoy the song.

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Pastor’s sermon yesterday was so stunning, I cried at the end of the message. Pastor ended it with the scene in The Passion of the Christ, where Jesus tells Mary His mother, “Mother, behold. I make all things new.” Then He boldly carried His cross and went on.

Well, I really love that scene. I’m not shy to admit I tend to tear quite a bit whenever I watch this movie. And right now, just watching this scene makes me cry all over again.

I’ve had many encounters of people saying that Jesus’ passion at the cross was sorrowful. But do you really know the meaning of sorrow? Do you know how negative sorrow is?

Sorrow: A cause or occasion of grief or regret, as an affliction, a misfortune, or trouble.

Was Christ’s passion a cause of grief or regret? Did it bring about a misfortune or trouble? If you knew well, you’d know the answer. So why then would Christ’s passion be sorrowful? It is bursting with so much love, it can never be sorrowful.

If ever, it can only be the greatest demonstration of LOVE.

And so, Mercy came running. And running… And running… Like a prisoner set free – just to remind me. Because Mercy realised that His precious blood would ransom me and my freedom.

What a beautiful Saviour I’ve found in Jesus.

うまくいかなかった何が？わかりません。なんですか？

And so it all boils down to ground zero again. So apt, the song I’m listening to right now sings, “Lift us up to fall…” Lift me up to fall, God. I’m lifted up to fall, and I’m really falling.  Mmm. The song stops. And Nicholas and Don are playing “If I Ain’t Got You” on the guitar. What a sad, lonely tune it seems.

It hasn’t been quite a smooth sailing week for me, thank goodness for someone like Jesus. Too many firsts in my life have occurred in such a short span of time, I think I need a little more time to digest them in.  なんてことだ！いえすきりすお！

Okay, I’m off to go make some pudding for the family now.

Goodbye.

I always love nights like these, just to feel His presence and be reminded by loved ones around about how privileged I am to be living and breathing, sitting up at my desk long past midnight, listening to the beautiful hymns that glorify the Name that brings me life.

I’ve had a heck of a weekend. I nearly gave in. But nope! For the tree that is in me is planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream of eternal living waters. The tree in me does not fear when the heat of summer comes, for its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit (Jeremiah 17:8). Amen!

Most of my time now is spent trying to restore an old laptop but Jesus has got to take it no matter what. I can’t bear to face the Blue Screen of Death all the time, really. It tests my patience. And makes me pray more in tongues, which is the good side, but NO! No halfway computer hanging on me while I’m working on serious business, Jesus! So please believe with me for a new laptop, amen Thank you.

Right now, “God Loves Ugly” by Jordin Sparks is singing to me through my headphones. A very, very special Brother once texted me this during one of my darkest moments before HM Camp; he said, “Aye reject those thoughts! I’m ugly but Daddy chose to sit by me. You’re such a blessing to those around you and He loves you so sweetly. Deny that darkness ’cause you’re an awesome light!“

I need to remind myself of this all the time, that I am the BELOVED CHILD OF GOD. Lest the devil gets his way in deterring me all the time. I hate falling ill. And being robbed of what belongs to me. God loves ugly. God loves me. He doesn’t see me ugly. He says I’m beautiful.

How precious. I’m so loved!

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