How Deep Is Your Love?

Hi world.

While my collagen eye mask is working its magic to make my puffy eyes look less puffed up, let me briefly announce that life just got even messier for me. Wow, LIFE.

Nope, I’m not complaining. Praise God for His little ways of tweaking things back for me time and again. It’s just. I’ve been overwhelmed with a hell load of crap lately, which I thought really little of until this evening. Jesus always tells us not to make big out of trivial things, but I’m not quite sure if these are trivial matters to me.

The fact that my 2 month old phone dropped into a clogged basin of water on the first day of camp was enough to drown me in sorrows. But anyone can be my witness – I never once did let the issue bug me. Because I held on strong to the faith that Jesus would deliver me. Just like the bee sting in my ass, no biggie. So I sent it for a repair and this evening, the LG technician called to tell me that it cost 250 bucks for the repair. Inside, I was thinking, “Lord Jesus, how can this be happening!”

And then there’s Arrow Camp. No funds = No camp. Church camps aren’t exactly expensive (370 bucks for a 5 days and 4 nights camp at Malacca) but to Mommy, the price is steep. I offered to pay, but that’ll mean starving myself for a month until my next pay cheque arrives. I now fully understand the whole “What is visible is only temporal” thing that Pastor’s been preaching.

My spoilt phone is temporal. My insufficient funding for camp is just temporal. Everything I can see is just temporal but Jesus remains forever. Forever rooting for me despite all the shit stuff I’ve done. Erasing all my entries of sin. What awesome love it is to die on the cross for me. Which man (or woman) on earth will be willing to die such death for anyone else?

So, in Jesus’ mighty name, my new phone will be fully paid for and so will my camp fees, Amen. Because He is Jehovah Jireh. The Lord will provide, Amen.

On a brighter note, I finally had a haircut! Mommy said I looked like some Japanese pop star but I beg to differ. Love the lightness of my head now. No longer feeling heavy and weighed down. Most of all, I feel uber sexy!

LOL.

Thank You, Jesus. I really don’t know how to thank You enough for everything.

Your arm of comfort is so, so apt right now

Stay Close, Don’t Go.

Woah. This emo shit can’t be getting to me, man.

Emo is contagious. End of story.

D’s random nature lightens me up, somehow.

And I can’t work properly with emo revolving around me. Shoo, emo. Shoo! Then there’s all the emo songs playing on my iTunes playlist. Lifehouse is stirring every bit of emotions in me, hoho. Lifehouse is THE bomb. Perfect for days like this.

This is bad. I’m going to the Rock Bookstore to buy more of Pastor’s sermons soon. Very soon. I must! Rwarrr.

Anyways.

Check out what my boss’ Nokia N95 can do with photographs; I think I’m pretty good at this, hurhur:

Me, and the gorgeous one who called me a lesbian.

Retarded Pose I: Alex & I

Retarded Pose II: Alex & I

Okays! That’s all I did last night when I couldn’t sleep. Looks cool? Realised there’s loads to play with this phone, oh wells.

Gonna get a haircut after work today. LIKE FINALLY! I swear I’m gonna have an awesome new hairdo after today

Alrighty. Back to work now.

Must.Stop.Emoing.

Wait. I don’t even sound emo enough to begin with!

LOL.

A Twist In My Story Breaks Your Silence

Not exactly the kind of night I’ll like to pen my thoughts on, but since I’ve yet to write about FO Camp, I might as well do it now.

I’ll say whatever I wanna say – I’m pretty much a very honest person. But I’m really, really tired. So I’ll try to make it a quickie.

First and foremost, anyone who has attended the FO Camp and is reading this, please note: I am not medic anymore. Medic/RSM is a persona I took on at camp. I’ve got a name. So stop calling me MEDIC. Secondly, there is no boyfriend. And thirdly, I am not a lesbian!

Nothing much, really.

The GPs were a fun bunch. Saw them grow since GP prep all the way till FO Camp. The GLs had their own strengths too. Loved their awesome cheers. One of the funniest I’ve ever heard too. The freshies were getting boring by the year. At least they weren’t as dumb as when I was a GP. Maybe it’s because when we’re GPs, we have that mentality that freshies are forever dumb. This year’s aren’t dumb. They’re more of bimbos. Anyone with eyes wide enough should be able to tell.

On a lighter note, I got stung by a bee in my ass at camp. And we didn’t exactly party the night away because Ahmad, Adha and their clan of Camp High Achievers came by our campsite to complain about the noise. We thought it was some MINDS camp they were facilitating. Ahmad told me the other night during meeting that it was some secondary 3 level camp for the school next to our polytechnic. WOW, bunch of crappy shittes.

And yeah.

FO outing at Sentosa today. I attended second service before joining them at the beach. Stunned them all with my Puma bikini, LOL. Next time I won’t do such stupid stuff in front of people like them – some things are best left private with your mates.

We went to Vivo for dinner. Packed our own dinner meals and brought them to the deck to eat. Then we played the “I Never” and “Truth or Truth” games. Edwin thought I was lesbian. Which sane part of me looks like one?! Yeah, I may have snogged girls but that don’t mean I’m lesbian. Heard of Katy Perry’s song? I kissed a girl just to try it. I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it. Kinda also shared with them some of my really intimate shit, which I felt really violated my space but heck it, it’s over and done with.

Okay, whatever. I’ll sleep over this and wake up to a happy day at work tomorrow. If I can, I’ll probably get up a little earlier to grab breakfast from Burger King.

I’m so emo tonight, I’m listening to the BF’s recording of Ludwig van Beethovan’s Sonata No. 8 – Pathetique in Adagio Cantobile on his Yamaha GB1. Kinda converted the AMR recording to an MP3 format for my own audio pleasure. Wish I could play the piano like him too. It’s hard to convert that status from a best friend to boyfriend and back again. Both are still BFs, I guess. The only constant in whatever that’s left of us, rwarr.

Can’t stand the feeling of rejection. Any shoulder to lean on, maybe?

Blahhh.

Oh, look at the time. I have 5 hours of sleep left.

Goodnight, folks.